by Vanora Naude

My journey through Scouting has been an interesting one. Full of high highs and low lows. 

Choosing to accept the challenge of being an ATS in a movement in South Africa that does not embrace Atheism, as an Atheist was going to be challenging. I must admit that I was lulled early on into a false sense of security having been accepted by my peers at the time and welcomed with open arms despite my lack of belief within a culture that holds some form of belief in a higher power as normal. 

Like anyone welcomed so warmly despite their differences, I embraced my new role wholeheartedly and buried myself in the world of scouting. It became a fundamental part of who I am and how I identify myself. 

As a side note, anyone familiar with the Scout Promise would feel the need to stop and ask, 

“How can you promise a ‘Duty to God’ as an atheist?” 

Not easily! 

I hate a hypocrite, but I also do not feel that anyone should be excluded from Scouting for any reason unless they cannot live up to the Scout Law. Any good human should be able to participate and a single phrase like ‘Duty to God’ seems to only exclude a very small bracket of people – mostly Atheists. 

After much soul-searching, I decided that the only way to show that atheists can also be ‘good humans’, was to put my concerns over the promise aside and jump in with both feet. Make a change by example, from the inside. 

Back to my story… 

Two years passed, I was getting excited at the idea of starting my Wood badge and then out of the blue one evening my Scouting world came crashing down around me. 

Someone higher up caught wind that I am atheist and felt that there was no place for me in Scouting. The news came to me via my SGL that If I insist that I am atheist, that’s it – I’m out. 

I was broken, shattered – my peers that had welcomed me with opened arms closed all the doors and left me in the cold – unless I would pretend to be someone I am not. 

There was absolutely no way that I could sit quietly and accept that a movement that encourages diversity and inclusivity could just boot me out into the cold. Once I received written feedback, I responded, carefully (I say carefully – carefully worded but I can be verbose. It was a lengthy response!). I addressed it to everyone in the movement I could think of, hoping to open conversation and hopefully make a change. 

It has been a long journey and has required extreme patience but my patience and persistence have led to some wonderful conversations. 

Most importantly, I am still here! 

Nothing is completely resolved. My journey is ongoing and there is still a long way to go to put everyone’s minds at ease and make any real change. 

This of course leads to the actual thing that I am meant to be writing about – My experience with Dialogue for Peace. 

When the ad came around looking for participants, I had to jump at it. The thought in the back of my mind was almost a challenge – “I dare you to exclude me”. Seems silly really but a part of me expected resistance from the people that still feel uncomfortable with my presence in the movement. They probably don’t even know I applied. 

I was incredibly happy when I realised that I was going to be included and also petrified! This is my first scouting activity since my world ended. My first proper interaction with Scouters in such a long time and I didn’t know how many of them might be in the group that feel I have no place here. 

My last interactions ended in rejection and the fear of further rejection terrified me, but I was also excited at the opportunity to be doing something that can only help me move forward on this journey. 

We are more than halfway through the training, and I am feeling excited and happy. Most importantly the fear of interacting with everyone openly has lessened significantly. The interactions I have had with people on the training have given me a sense of hope. 

During the special dialogue circles arranged for everyone that could not make it over the weekend, my topic of Atheism in Scouting was chosen. The warmth, understanding and sympathy for my experiences was overwhelming. I felt accepted and welcome, and it was such a relief! 

Change is on the horizon, and I can finally see it clearly! 

Dialogue for Peace has spoken directly to my scouting journey, and I feel like my world is slowly being pieced back together. I am so grateful for getting a chance to be a part of it and cannot wait to see what’s next!