Compassionate Listening

1. Explain that the main purpose of this exercise is to be a compassionate listener.
    
2. Split the group into smaller groups of five people. Each person in the group will play each role once. If you have a smaller group, you can do this with just roles A-D.

• The roles are as follows:

A: Teller

B: Listener for facts

C: Listener for values – listen for values directly expressed by A

D: Listener for emotions

E: Listener for hidden values – this is where you search for values that you sense the person possesses, but is not aware of. This is where you can make a person become aware of values, that can actually be a new resource.

An alternative can be that E looks for body language, and what that tells.

3. Person A must speak for five minutes without interruption. The topic they should speak about is a time or situation in their life that had a hard impact on them. On a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 is really hard, the topic should not be higher than 7 or 8, as there is a time limit, and for every participant to feel that diving into a topic also can surface again in a good way.
    
4. During the 5 minutes, B, C, D & E should only listen – no questioning, no talking, only listening!
    
5. When the five minutes are up, B, C, D & E take turns, using one minute each, to tell A what they heard, by focusing on their specific topic (facts, values, emotions, hidden values).
    
6. When everyone has given feedback, participants shift, so that A becomes B and so on.
    
7. This goes on until all participants have gone through all the steps.
    
8. When everyone has taken their turn, all participants reassemble for a short debrief.

Note: Be advised that you as a facilitator should be nearby, at all times, as one participant might discover something within their story that can open emotions they weren't previously aware of. Therefore a facilitator should always be ready to deal with such situations with the highest respect for that person.

Select the questions relevant to the age group and the learning objectives:

• Was it a difficult exercise? Which areas of the practice were more difficult than others?
• How hard was it to talk about personal topics in the group?
• How did it feel?
• Thinking of having to focus on all of these elements at the same time, what do you feel could be the most challenging part?
• How do you think this practice helps to create the environment for dialogue and contribute to a safe space?
• Did you learn something new? What?

As the adult leader, you should also encourage other reflections and questions based on your knowledge, experience and desired objectives